Showing posts with label Becoming Parents. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Becoming Parents. Show all posts

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Now for the NEXT hurdle!

So...

As you might suspect, there are many hurdles two gay men need to overcome in order to have children. The next hurdles consist of blood tests to verify that the pregnancy is moving along properly.

On Monday, 8/23/10, Jane goes to the Clinic again for more bloodwork. They will be looking for her hormone levels to have doubled since Friday's bloodwork.

On Thursday, 8/26/10, Jane goes to the Clinic again for more bloodwork. They will be looking for her hormone levels to have doubled again since the 8/23/10 tests.

Typically, if the numbers triple or quadruple anywhere along the line, that would suggest that there are multiples (as in twins or triplets)...

If all is fine on Thursday, 8/26/10, then we schedule the ultrasound to determine just how many babies we have!!

:)

I'll update everyone Monday once we know how the bloodwork went!

Potato #1

Friday, August 20, 2010

Looks like good things DO come to those that wait!

Just posting quickly while on the road...

Jane had her bloodwork this morning at 7am...

Results were available around 9ish!

Her Beta bloodwork numbers were 29 which are good for frozen embryos (though of course it differs from woman to woman)...

So...

WE ARE PREGNANT!

Woohoo! :)

More info coming soon!

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Cycle #3 Update, 8/11/2010

Oops... I just realized that I forgot to post the updates that I had been editing - sorry!  But here is the latest!!  :)

Cycle #3 Update:
  1. Lupron start date: 7/4/10
    • Started!
  2. OCP (birth control pill) stop date: 7/9/10
    1. Done (and many thanks to Jane's husband)!
  3. Approximate date of suppression check: 7/15/10
    • Done, all looks okay!
  4. Estrace start date: 7/16/10
    • Started!
  5. Approx. date of endometrial lining check: 7/30/10
    • Done - Jane's lining looks great!
    • Slight schedule adjustment... Embryo transfer originally scheduled for 8/9/10 has been moved to 8/11/10... all good!
  6. Last dose of Lupron: 8/2/10
    • Stopped!
  7. Begin progesterone & prometrium: 8/3/10
    • Started!
  8. Begin prednisone and doxy: 8/4/10
    • Started!
    • Spoke to the clinic and confirmed the embryo plan.
      • Potato #1 and Potato #2 each have one(1) pair of "Grade A five-day embryo blasts", with each pair coming from a different egg donor.
      • Following an extensive review of each egg donor's "proven productivity", Dr. H. suggested that we start off with (2) of Potato #1's embryo blasts, and (1) of Potato #2's blasts.
      • Once the (3) embryos are thawed out, the geneticists and Dr. D will review them, and if any of the embryos appear to have any "issues", then we will thaw the 4th embryo.
    • Yikes - learned that Jane is experiencing morning sickness - something she didn't go through with her own children... :(   Gosh, thanks so much for doing this for us!!! :)
  9. Embryo transfer is scheduled for Monday, 8/9/10 Wednesday, 8/11/10
    • Transfer scheduled for 10:30am... Jane needs to be there by 10:00am - we will be there too!
      • When we got there, we found Jane wearing green nail polish (mani/pedi) and a green tshirt... according to other surrogates wearing green "helps"!
      • We also met a couple from NY, that were also having their first transfer done today - good luck guys!!
    • FYI: Vitrified/Cryopreserved embryos thaw within 90 minutes or so, as they are moved from dish to dish within the incubator(s).
      • According to Dr. H. and the geneticists, all three embryos thawed at "100%", so the decision was made to move ahead according to plans!
      • Potato #1's embryos are displayed below:
      • Potato #2's embryo is displayed below:
      • Note, that the Clinic waits until at least the surrogate is in the office before they start the embryo thawing process (which makes total sense, if you ask me)!!
    • Dr. H. transferred the embryos to Jane; everything went well!
      • Jane rested for a little while to let gravity "help"...
      • We ran out and got her some french fries (another "surrogate helper")...
      • And then we all went out and had a REALLY GREAT MEAL/TIME at Joey Garlic's Pizzeria, where we got to not only enjoy great company, but an awesome and yummy meal!!
Next steps:
  1. First Beta on Friday, 8/20/10 (9 days out)
    • Note that it takes longer for the body to actually generate the hormone levels that are measured by the Beta, so it is considered somewhat "unwise" to do a home pregnancy test, since it is looking for much higher hormonal levels.
  2. Subsequent Betas, scheduled as appropriate...
    • And will be reported here as soon as we know!!

All in all, we had a really great day, and are REALLY excited.... statistically speaking, it looks like we are "due"...

:)

Thursday, May 27, 2010

The countdown to Transfer #3 is about ready to begin!

Following a very much anticipated conference call with Dr. H., it appears that we are ready to create the timeline for the Transfer #3, which should be finalized by the end of the week!

Each of us now has two frozen "Grade A" five day blastocycst embryos ("five day blasts"), and the idea at this moment is to transfer three of them to Jane.  Which three of the four isn't really a concern - we're just hoping for at least one healthy baby!

Woo-Hoo!!

Sunday, May 16, 2010

2 More Frozen Embryos!

We were notified by the clinic today that two of the embryos fertilized by Potato #2 made it to nice Day 5 "blasts" - YAY!!  They are still keeping an eye on the third one, but we are excited, as we now have two nice frozen embryos each - almost enough to take over the world with!!

And there is another egg donor coming in this week, whom we also hope to receive more eggs to fertilize from.  So, though we are trying really hard to temper our excitement, we are really excited!!

Woo-Hoo!!!

Thursday, May 13, 2010

WooHoo - there's an update!

Gee, sorry for not posting in so long - but there just wasn't anything to post.  :(

Now, after over a month of silence, we are happy to report that there is finally something to update everyone about!!

The clinic contacted us during April about an egg donor that will have eggs retrieved during the week of the 17th (if not sooner).  So, we while Potato #1 has two happily frozen 5 day blasts, we decided to use Potato #2's sperm for these eggs (assuming we get any).

Then this week, the clinic contacted us at the last minute about an egg donor  (literally for the next day).  We wound up with 3 eggs which were successfully fertilized with Potato #2's sperm.  Now the wait is on to see how many might actually grow to become happy 5 day "blasts"!  What a blast, man!  :)

Yay!

:)

Sunday, March 28, 2010

And the wait continues...

We followed up with Dr. Handsome to make sure we are still on the radar, and are relieved to hear that we are.

At this point, we have two frozen "grade a blastocysts" and are just waiting for more available eggs to fertilize.

Ugh.  Thank goodness we are patient people!  :)

Friday, March 12, 2010

"Oh Sugar!"

We just learned that none of the last batch of eggs made it to cryopreservable embryos.

Bummer.  Ellen - are you following?!?  You really should put us on your show so that you and your audience can follow us along our journey towards parenthood!!

Oh well, we'll just look toward the next fertilization batch.

:(

Monday, March 8, 2010

Looks like we will have one more embryo to freeze!

Quick Update:

We received (4) eggs from the last egg donor, and following fertilization it looks like we have (1) really great grade A embryo that we'll be able to cryopreserve tomorrow!

Of course there is still the chance that there might be two!  I guess we'll find out tomorrow!

Oh, and btw, do you watch the Ellen DeGeneres show?  Well, Ellen is lookin to change lives, and is looking for folks to write in about anyone you know that may be having a tough time ( more at http://ellen.warnerbros.com/show/respond/?PlugID=234).  Though we have jobs, and a roof over our heads, I am trying to see if I can get them interested in doing a story about surrogacy, as I don't believe they have done one yet.  Feel free to drop the show a line and give a plug for us - just reference our website so that they know where to go to read about us!

:)

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Next Egg Donor on deck!

We just got word that the next egg donor we hope to receive eggs from will likely start her stimulation medications this Friday, with an anticipated retrieval by the week of 3/1/10!

As for the status of the fertilized embryos, we wound up with two "Grade A" blastocysts to cryopreserve.  According to the Clinic, the vitirification process used in the cryopreservation provides for an average thaw rate of approximately 99%.

Yay!

Lets just hope that this doesn't become an Abbott and Costello skit!  Hey - who's on Third?  I don't know?!?  First Base!  nyuk-nyuk-nyuk!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Moving forward...

Hola everyone!

To paraphrase Mark Twain (and the Lowell Shallot), "rumors of our demise have been greatly exaggerated" and we are [albeit] slowly moving forward towards Transfer #3! 

Following several strategy discussions, here is our general plan of action:
  1. We will be using eggs from several donors.
  2. Both of us potatoes will provide our sperm, which will be frozen and thawed as needed for fertilization.
  3. Donor eggs will be fertilized, and any resulting "good day-5 blastocysts" will be cryopreserved.
  4. Once we each have a good number of frozen embryos, they will get thawed and transfered to Jane.
  5. Assuming that several embryos attach, anything over two will be selectively reduced.
Today, 2/10/10:
  • Both of us went to the Clinic and provided our sperm.
  • Several "very nice looking mature eggs" were retrieved from an egg donor.
  • The first batch of eggs were fertilized.  We should gain a better sense of how many fertilized tomorrow, and how many resulted in blastocysts on Monday.
Woo-Hoo!!     :)

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Fertile Friday (a.k.a. Friday the 13th)

Weeeeeeeeeee're Baaaaaaaack - and ready to blog! Why? Because we're still working on getting pregnant of course!

During the past few months, we spent time working with Dr. H at the Clinic to identify another donor since the last donor just didn't work out. Too many of her eggs wound up being immature, none of the embryos seemed to develop properly, neither of the two implanted "took", and none of the fertilized embryos survived to freezing - pretty much an all around failure! Dr. H assures us that her remaining eggs will be destroyed, and that she won't be used as a donor again. Whew!

Our new donor (a.k.a. 414), is a proven donor (just as the last one was), but is also commonly referred to internally as a "super donor", as she has donated many eggs which have all resulted in healthy babies (including twins). Granted, there aren't any guarantees, but we're hoping to not break her success rate!!! :)

This time, we spent a lot more time focused on the frozen egg vs fresh egg debate. This isn't exactly a very easy decision, as it seems that there are so many conflicting opinions out there, and there appear to be very few quantifiable and scientifically-based studies to help in the choice. Though the CDC does have a great site dedicated to these statistics (specifically check out the Assisted Reproduction Technology Report which includes fertility clinic updates by state/clinic), the data can be several yers old. Issues to consider include the changing regulatory lansdscape and technology... Advances in cryopreservation and the technological (and legal) ability to grow embryos out to five days are relatively newer advances, which make it even more difficult to interpret the officially reported numbers to the CDC against the backdrop of assurances from embryologists and fertility clinics, and doctors alike that the success rate of fresh vs frozen is now equal to each other. We ultimately chose to go with frozen eggs for a variety of reasons.

Meanwhile, Jane has been awesome! We can't say enough good things about how excited we are to be working with such a wonderful surrogate who has become a friend. We know that this hasn't been easy for her or her own family, as it inevitably creates a major disruption, yet her ability to maintain a positive attitude throughout the process has been especially helpful and encouraging for us. Jane cycled back onto her medications this summer and has been doing great - according to the Clinic, her system is ready to be pregnant! And, of course, so are we!

Friday the 13th (yesterday), became known as Fertility Friday. Frozen eggs were thawed, and we drove to the clinic to do our FDA required labwork, and provide our specimens for fertilization. Due to scheduling reasons, we didn't have an opportunity to discuss the status of the frozen eggs with the embryologist, but expect a call today to learn their status, along with how they fertilized.

Don't worry, we'll update the blog MUCH more regularly now that we are back on track!

Oh, and in keeping with the theme of Fertility Friday (as opposed to the ever spooky Friday the 13th), we are looking for something to rename the day after Thanksgiving, commonly referred to as "black Friday", since that is the day we will find out if we are pregnant!

Any suggestions?

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Yesterday is History. Tommorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. THAT is why it is called the present.

Ah... what wise words of wisdom from Kung Fu Panda!

So...

We regrouped with Dr. H, discussed our options, and agreed to move forward with another attempt, from another approach by asking Dr. H to help us narrow down the donor selection process by recommending his most fertile donors (commonly referred to as "super-doners") for us. Dr. H told us that he was relieved to hear that we were open to options, as that is exactly along the lines of what he would have recommended. Great minds think alike. Dr. H's commitment came through loud and clear - it was pretty obvious that a failed transfer makes him work that much harder to make this work! Thank you Dr. H for your support!

Tuesday we have another conference call set up with Dr. H to discuss donors. We will definitely have another update then.

Jane is officially off her meds, and doing well. Everyone feels pretty bummed out about this transfer not working, but Jane is really encouraging and helping us stay positive. Timeline-wise, Dr H suggested that it would be 10-12 weeks at the earliest (mid November to December) before we could try another transfer. We figure that means we have approx 4 weeks to dig in to the donors and figure out who the next Suzie will be.

We're trying to keep ourselves upbeat, which isn't too difficult to do when you have a cute new little puppy in the house (Addie). Daisy our 'doodle and Addie are getting along great, even though it seems like Daisy is regressing a little (as if she never knew how to "stay").

Otherwise, while I can't say that everything is great, we really are trying to stay focused on the next attempt.

I seriously doubt we could do this a third time...

Thanks to everyone for your kind words and wisdom!!

- Potato #1

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Mr. Sperm, please allow us to introduce you to Ms. Egg. Please skip the hanky panky, and just GET IT ON!

Wow. I don't know how else to sum up today.

We arrived at the Clinic at 11:00am, checked in, and met with our handsome Dr. (whom we will refer to as Dr. H). Dr. H is the Medical Director at the Clinic, and is "the" guy responsible for the technology behind the journey we are attempting. Personable, charming, able to talk to us at our level (without the mumbo jumbo so many doctors often spout), and committed to helping us have kids, Dr. H is really great, and we are excited to be working with him and his wonderful team!

Dr. H told us that Suzie's egg retrieval went well, and that the eggs were in the process of being prepped and reviewed, and he told us that "so far, everything looks great."

We wrapped up our individual appointments, in which we provided our sperm samples, and were later told by the folks in the Sperm Lab that they seemed "fine."

From there we did some paperwork, and Dr. H stopped by to see how we were doing and help with any additional questions we might have.

From what we understand, here is basically what happens next:
  • The embryologists are basically in control.
  • The eggs and sperm are allowed an opportunity to acclimate themselves to the environment they are now in. The eggs are quantified and qualified. Since we are conducting a "shared" cycle, we have contracted for a specific quantity of eggs, with the remainder going to the Clinic for use with other couples.
  • The eggs are stripped of surrounding cells and prepared for fertilization. In the meantime, the semen is prepared for fertilization by removing inactive cells and seminal fluid.
  • The eggs we are receiving will be separated into two batches; one for each of us potatoes' sperm to fertilize.
  • The eggs and sperm are reviewed to determine whether they will be allowed to naturally fertilize, or whether assisted fertilization is necessary. This will be determined today, as the goal is to fertilize ASAP with all of the fresh material.
  • The sperm and the egg are incubated together at a ratio that may vary from clinic to clinic, but is typically around 75,000:1 in the culture media for about 18 hours.
  • The eggs and sperm start to date. The rules are simple. No long-term dating. They need to get down to business and get some home runs going ASAP! We have asked for pictures, but understand they may be shy.
  • In most cases, the egg will be fertilized during this 18 hour period. This is not one of those long term relationships that go nowhere. The fertilized egg will show two pronuclei.
  • The fertilized egg is typically passed to a special growth medium and left for about 48 hours until the egg consists of 6-8 cells.
  • We should get a call tomorrow informing us of just how many embryos were fertilized and how they are doing.
  • Over the course of the next two days (Thursday and Friday), the embryos are checked, evaluated, and reviewed for "assisted hatching" as necessary.
  • By Saturday morning, the embryologists should know if they want to conduct the transfer of the embryos to Jane on Saturday (day 3) or on Monday (day 5).
  • I believe we will receive pictures of the embryos on transfer day. :)
  • The remaining embryos are frozen (through cryopreservation).
Jane's bloodwork will be regularly checked during the next 8 weeks to verify pregnancy and hormone levels, but most importantly to make sure she is doing okay. It is critical to point out that Jane's health is of foremost importance to us. She has a wonderful family, and beautiful kids. She is a really wonderful and amazing person, and the our appreciation for her help in making this possible for us is difficult to put into words.

That's basically today in a nutshell. Wow.

More as it develops!

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Let the Egg Harvesting Begin!

Everyone's monitoring is continuing along smoothly!

Potato #2 and I went yesterday morning to get our second round of labwork completed. The young lady that did the bloodwork was very pleasant, and excited for us!

Suzie's follicles continue to grow, and folks at the Clinic tell me that they expect her eggs to be mature either this weekend or early next week, at which time they will inject her with Human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) to cause the eggs to complete their maturation. Once hCG is administered, we are given our 48 hour notice to get to the Clinic to produce our sperm samples for fertilization, embryo culture, pre-implantation genetic diagnosis (PGD; only if necessary), transfer to the surrogate (Jane), bloodwork and follow-up.

Fertilization
Suzie's eggs will be divided in half, with half going to the Clinic (because we are doing a "shared donor"), and half being set aside for us. The half that go to the clinic are cryopreserved via oocyte (egg) freezing. Our half is further divided in half, with one half to be fertilized by Potato #1's sperm and the other half to be fertilized by Potato #2's sperm.

The sperm from both of us are added to the eggs on the day of the retrieval (typically within an hour or so). Oddly enough, the embryologists like to give the sperm an opportunity to fertilize the egg "naturally". If a problem with fertilization occurs, the embryologists then turn to intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI), where a single sperm is chosen ("the chosen ones") and injected directly into each egg (of course, this would be done to each of our batches of eggs).

Embryo Culture
Once the eggs are fertilized, they are cultured for 2-4 days before the resulting embryos are considered ideal for transfer. During this period, the embryologists monitor the embryo development through several crucial cell division stages. One critical cell division stage may require the embryologist to "hatch" the cells in order to assist in implantation. Embryos may be graded based on their appearance or on PGD.

Pre-Implantation Genetic Diagnosis (PGD)
It has been determined that in our IVF case, PGD does NOT apply, so there isn't any need to perform PGD on our embryos, but because of the significant debate PGD presents, I thought worth writing about it to "make you think"... of course, if you would rather not think :) you can just skip ahead to the Transfer section!

PGD utilizes an embryo biopsy (where the embryologist separate one of the cells from each embryo) to evaluate the genetic composition of the growing embryo in order to determine the true genetics of each embryo prior to their transfer and subsequent pregnancy. The thought is that by using the results of the biopsy, the embryologist can identify the embryos that are "truly perfect" from others which may look good but may have chromosomal disorders which could lead to miscarriage or birth defects. Some argue that the mere process of biopsying an embryo may subject it to so much strain that it may impact its long term viability, or cause other issues. Others argue about the actual tests performed against the biopsy: (1) chromosomal testing (aka aneuploidy screening) and/or (2) genetic testing.

The chromosomal testing ensures that the embryo does not contain an abnormal number of chromosomes, which may lead to a failure of embryo growth, miscarriage, or birth abnormalities such as Down Syndrome. Women who may benefit from chromosomal testing include older women, women in whom embryo quality is a concern, and women who have experienced multiple miscarriages or prior births with genetic disorders.

The genetic testing is usually done for a specific disease by detecting a specific gene defect that can be inherited from one or both parents. These defects include ones that may lead to conditions such as cystic fibrosis, sickle-cell anemia, hemophilia, Duchenne muscular dystrophy, and Tay-Sach's disease. There are many other genetic disorders for which PGD can be used following proper genetic counseling with the intended parents and/or donors.

Needless to say, PGD raises many potentially ethical questions, and I think both of us are relieved that we don't have to deal with them. Coincidentally, I read in the NYTimes today that Yury Verlinsky, considered "the" expert in the field of Embryonics Screening, and credited with developing the techniques to detect genetic disorders in embryos through PGD just died recently in Chicago. I'm sure that his work has helped many families, and that his loss will be felt far and wide within the IVF community.

Transfer
Embryos are generally transferred on either the third or fifth day after harvesting, in order to allow the embryologists to observe the way they develop and grade their quality. Based on experience, the embryologists select the embryos with the highest chances of pregnancy based on embryo quality. The number of embryos being transferred to Jane is anticipated to be two - one from each of our batches of fertilized eggs; the remaining embryos will be cryopreserved (frozen). Assuming all goes well, we wind up with twins that are genetically related to each through the egg donor, and genetically related to each of us through our sperm.

Bloodwork and Follow-Up
An initial blood pregnancy test is performed on Jane two weeks following the embryo transfer date, the Clinic will follow Jane closely for the next 8 weeks, with some visits and bloodwork. Within five weeks of the embryo transfer, they should know how many embryos remain viable.

Gosh, this is starting to get so damn technical - lets bring on some babies!!

:)

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Nine (9) Days Until Egg Retrieval!

NINE days and counting!

Throughout the past few weeks, the Clinic has been monitoring Susie and Jane. We've been advised that:
  • Suzie continues her Lupron treatments which are used to suppress the pituitary gland’s secretions of luteinizing hormone (LH). Normally LH is secreted in high amounts by the pituitary gland just before ovulation. In fact, it is this rapid release of LH (the “LH surge”) that triggers egg release (amazing!). Lupron suppresses the LH surge and prevents ovulation so that Suzie does not release the eggs prior to the retrieval (which would be BAD).
  • Suzie began her Gonadotropins (which stimulate the ovaries to produce multiple follicles) within the past two weeks. The Gonadotropins have been adjusted according to her hormone levels and ultrasound results, as her follicles have been produced.
  • Suzie's regular monitoring suggests that her ovaries are "plump" and that her eggs appear to be "maturing nicely." Suzie will be further monitored on Tuesday and Thursday of next week and into the weekend. This last portion of the monitoring is focused on determining when to "pull the trigger" by injecting the hormone that causes all of the eggs to be released. When the largest follicles reach a critical size (approximately 20 millimeters) the eggs within them should be mature. Human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) is then given, which causes the egg to undergo a final stage of maturation. The retrieval then follows precisely 34-36 hours later.
Meanwhile...
  • Jane's "uterine lining is nice and thick and ready".
And...
  • Us potatoes need to get the final FDA-required lab work (yes, from the FDA) completed on 7/24 (this is a follow up to the blood work taken over a month ago for comparison purposes). Since we are both essentially considered to be donors (according to the FDA), the FDA requires all sorts of analysis work be completed to ensure that we are healthy and don't carry any contagions that could be passed along to Jane (certainly reasonable enough).
Jane and the Potatoes are "on deck" for the week of 7/27.

The next steps include Fertilization, Embryo Development, Pre-Implantation Genetic Diagnosis (PGD), and Embryo Transfer - More on that later!!

:)

Thursday, July 9, 2009

2 1/2 Weeks Until Egg Retrieval!

I know, I know, I know... I've been slacking... But there really ins't THAT much new to update everyone on...

At this point, we have 2 1/2 weeks left until the egg retrieval, insemination, and transfer. Suzie and Jane have been on their medications for a couple of weeks now. Suzie's drugs are stimulating fresh eggs for retrieval, while Jane's drugs are focused on making her eggs dormant and stimulating the lining of her uterus for pregnancy. Everyone is doing great, and seems to be "on track." Once Suzie's eggs are retrieved, they are inseminated, and "grown out" 3-5 days. The folks at the Clinic will determine when they are at ready for transfer to Jane. After two weeks (and several monitoring visits) we will know if the pregnancy "takes." Two to three weeks later, we should know how many heartbeats there are, and since we are hoping for twins, there should be two!!

Its amazing to think that we could be pregnant within 5 weeks - isn't technology just amazing?!?

Woo0Hoo!! :)

Saturday, May 23, 2009

My day of reckoning...

Everyone has a day of reckoning...

...It seems that mine was yesterday (Friday, 5/22/09).

Unlike President Clinton, I can't say "I didn't inhale", and my colleagues from FCI will be the first to attest to my (in)ability to drink copiously. Did any of these "youthful indiscretions" (aka bad decisions) damage any of my sperm (a.k.a., "little men", "fighting men", "troopers", or "soldiers")? After all, being gay, I never thought they would really be of any particular use to me (it's not like I'm heading off to war and need troopers, right, everyone knows Cubans are pacifists)?!?!

So it was with great hesitation and serious contemplation that the 2nd Potato and I headed out to the Clinic yesterday to complete our FDA required tests, since technically speaking, the FDA views us as sperm donors for this process. Now, if the FDA can't do anything to prevent/monitor salmonella in peanuts, broccolli, or hamburger, how am I supposed to trust their conclusions re my sperm?!?

Nightmares that ended in "... sorry Potato #1, but your sperm has salmonella, so we can't allow you to reproduce..." followed by the sounds of news trucks camping out in our front lawn waiting for a statement, kept waking me up in the middle of the night Thursday...

To ease my concerns, the folks at the Clinic conducted all of their tests quickly, and happily informed me that my little men are fine - better than fine, in fact! It seems that my troopers are ready to fight and conquer England (well, maybe not England, but certainly France, right? I mean, according to certain history books, they are pretty good at welcoming invaders, no?)! But rest assured that I've given the troops orders to stand down for a few weeks until they are really needed - people of England (and France) need not be afraid and can relax!! Of course the 2nd Potato's troopers are fine too, and we can finally relax.

The next step is the results of our blood work, which should be completed by the middle of next week. Once we get over that hurdle, the "official time line" gets created!

Woo-Hoo!!

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Just what is a "Great Dad"?

Someone recently told me that they were sure I'd "...be a great dad." I asked them how can they be so sure, to which they replied "I'm sure you'll do a great job, just like your dad did with you!" I smiled, said "Gee, Thanks, I guess I never thought of it that way!"... and then started thinking...

And thinking... and thinking... and thinking... I love my dad, and think I have a good relationship with him - though admittedly not as good as I'd like to have - and lots of family and friends insist that I will be a "great dad" but...

The reality of the situation is that the Cuban Revolution wreaked chaos on my family, just as it did to so many others. As a result, when I was 18 months old, my father was unable to migrate with the rest of my family as we left Cuba to come to the United States on our raft of tires (okay, I'm embelishing here - there was no tire raft, we actually flew over on a plane - but as I writer, isn't that a liberty allowed to me?)... Because of the politics of the situation, my dad wound up stuck in Cuba for years, during which time he remarried and raised two daughters.

Now, I'm not trying to cry "poor me" by any means - after all, I had the opportunity to grow up here in the "Land of the Free" surrounded by my mom, grandparents, and other close family members (how many people actually knew their great grandparents? I did!)... My family did a great job raising me, imparting a strong sense of ethics and hard work. Between my grandfather and uncle/godfather, it's not like I lacked any fatherly figures, but they weren't my dad...

I never did have anyone show me how to toss a ball, cast a fishing reel, ride a bike, recognize a birch tree, track a deer, or do any of those things that Men's Health, Men's Fitness, Good Parenting, or any of those fatherhood websites say you're supposed to do with your kids... Though I do know how to spot deer droppings, and a robin's egg (thanks to the 2nd Potato)... Gee, I hope these things will come as natural as typing on a keyboard does!

So, just what makes a "great dad"? For that matter, what makes a "good dad"? I don't know how to toss a ball, cast a fishing reel, recognize a birch tree, track a deer, or do any of those things yet! Geez, I just learned how to ride a bike two years ago!

Wow - what pressure!!... I'm hoping some of this just comes naturally, and think I'm going to just focus on being a dad - which is going to be TOTALLY NEW, takes a little pressure off, and might be easier!

So to help me figure out what to do, I decided to invest in two books (I know, I know... but I'm hoping they can help)!!
  1. The New Father - A Dad's Guide to the First Year (2nd Edition), by Armin A. Brott
  2. Your Baby's First Year week by week (2nd Edition), by Glade B. Curtis and Judith Schuler

Both books seem great, and I think we'll try to blog weekly about how the tater tots compare against the week by week book!

Wow - I can't believe we're going to be dads!!

:)

Monday, April 6, 2009

Want a Boy or a Girl? Have you thought of any names? Do you care if they're Gay or Straight?

So once people get over the "how cool" factor that the two of us are having kids, there seem to be three questions that inevitably come up:
  1. Do you want boys or girls?
  2. Have you thought of any names?
  3. Do you care if they turn out gay or straight?

Of course, all we can hope for is healthy babies, but for those that keep pressing, here are some answers:

Re (1), I don't really know anything about women (you know what I mean), but we are confident that between family and friends, there are plenty of women in our lives that will be able to help us (and THEM) if we wind up with girls! Of course, whoever tries to date them will need to find their own help to get pass the two of us when they get to the dating age of 47! Ah, what happy babbies they will be!

Re (2), Yeah, don't worry, they won't be named Baby #1 and Baby #2! We've started thinking about names, and have a running alphabetical list on the left of some of the "contenders". We'll keep it up to date, and will eventually start sorting it in order of those that are more likely than less. Happy babbies need a name!

Re (3), Fifteen years ago, I think we both would have shared the opinion that their lives might be "safer" or "better off" if they were straight - but lots has happened in the past fifteen years, and we firmly believe that lots more progress will be made during the next fifteen years! So, we can honestly say that we really don't care and believe that they will really have an equal opportunity regardless of whether they're gay, straight, bisexual, transgendered, or questioning! Happy babies just need to be happy!

BTW, we have tip our hats to this HILARIOUS post over at "gay dads in munchkin land" titled "OMG, he likes girls" that I highly recommend for a great laugh!

So to recap, we really don't care if we have boys or girls (or one of each), or if they wind up gay or straight - we really just want to have happy healthy kids!